Impossibly Improbable
by Smileyy101
Summary: Well Gumi has convinced herself that Meiko could NEVER love her. That it is impossible, impossibly improbable that Meiko could every love Gumi. That she never has and never will. Angry!Gumi. It is yuri or girlxgirl so beware!


"_**Impossibly Improbable"**_

"I love you, Meiko! I love you!" I say to her, the utmost devotion I have for her showed in my earthy eyes. I had finally said it. I stared into her eyes, seeing happiness and I giggle in my joy.

"I love you," I repeat, never sick of hearing those words. She just nods and smiles. But her face starts to morph. Her beautifully imperfect smile disappears and her eyes, that are the most perfect shad of brown, lose the spark of joy. She starts backing away from me and the warmth of her body leaves the situation completely. Her lips curve up into a horrid sneer and the brown dissolves from her eyes, leaving them a stormy gray. The girl I fell in love with was gone and here it left an emotionless shell.

"Get away from me!" She screamed in a frighteningly familiar voice. But it had a terrible tone to it, one that could never come from her mouth. No, I was wrong. It wasn't emotionless. It expressed many emotions, all of them mimicking the same feeling. Disgust, anger, complete revulsion, all of them creating my worst nightmare.

"You're disgusting. I could never love you! You're hideous. I _will_ never love you. I wish you'd just die and then I'd never have to see your pitiful face again. Do you hear me?" she continued.

This time I stepped back, in disbelief and in tears. Her image began to blur and I assumed it was because I was beginning to sob. Did she really feel this way?

"I. Will. Never. Love. You." She laughed, laughing at my misery, or maybe laughing at how easily she had caused it. I broke down, falling to my knees as I sobbed, her laughs causing them to get louder and more desperate.

"No!" I woke up screaming in a cold sweat. My covers were the evidence of me thrashing in my sleep. I couldn't control my breathing and as I remembered every detail of my nightmare, I began sobbing. Just as I had in the nightmare, I curled into a ball and just cried.

Because _it is impossible, impossibly improbable that Meiko could ever love Gumi. She never has and never will._

_TW~KP~TW~KP~TW_

Did she just look at me? Oh God, she just looked at me. Wait, she is still looking at me. Was she staring. Or, that's what I thought. I always thought I had caught her looking at me before. And her mahogany eyes on me made me nervous. I couldn't think and I looked down to find my hands visibly trembling. I took a chance and glanced to the desk beside me. No, I must have been wrong. Because there she was, scolding Kaito in her motherly tone and laughing with Len. I turned to look down at my clenched fists resting on my desk and shook my head. Of course I was wrong.

_It is impossible, impossibly improbable that Meiko could ever love Gumi. She never has and never will._

_TW~KP~TW~KP~TW_

I sat down at the lunch table, viciously stabbing my salad. Luka raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything, choosing to nudge Len. Len looked at me and sighed.

"Gumi, why are you killing your salad? It has carrots in it, you made sure of that," he asked. I just chuckled incredulously with no humor.

"Because it's green," I answer. This shocked them both enough so that they dropped their forks. They shared a looked and I scoffed, annoyed that they had begun to that, especially around me.

"That makes no sense and you know it. You love the color green, just take a look at your closet," reasoned Luka.

"Well maybe I don't like it anymore!"

"And why is that? You're you, and you don't just stop liking green," argued Len. I finally looked up at him and he gasped at the dark circles beneath my eyes.

"Because it's the color of my eyes," I said, and looked back down. He was about to say something but I cut him off.

"Because it's the color of the eyes that she just 'adores'. Everything should just be gray, ya know? That would make everything perfect, yeah? Picture perfect..." I trailed off. They both just looked at me for a minute, sad that they couldn't help me. They didn't know who 'her' was but they had a pretty good idea. They must think we're having some fight but it's not because of that. It's because of a fact I'm starting to realize.

_It is impossible, impossibly improbable that Meiko could ever love Gumi. She never has and never will._

_TW~KP~TW~KP~TW_

As I sit down on my designated pillow at the sleepover and look around the circle, my eyes catch hers and I instantly look away. I don't see her scrunch her eyebrows together in confusion. Rin, Luka, and Haku did though.

"Hey, you can start without me, I'll be right back," I say. They all nod and she says, "Don't be long, this is gonna be awesome!" I just nod, not looking at her. I'm too afraid to look at her because by now it shows. I'm so in love with her and if she just looked at my eyes, it'd be obvious. So I don't look at her very often anymore, if only just to supply my nightmares with more of her perfect features and new ways to twist them into horrifying pictures.

I walk out of the room and into the kitchen, leaning on my elbows on the counter letting out a long sigh. I put my head in my hands.

"What is wrong with me, it'll never happen. I just need to forget about it!" I say to myself. It's futile because every time I blink, all I see is irresistible brown eyes that engulf me completely in want.

"_God damn it!"_ I say, pushing away from the counter and kicking the brick wall. I instantly regret and grab my foot in pain.

"Now, why'd you go and do that," I hear her voice and it instantly chases away the pain. I look up and quickly look away. Our eyes didn't have enough time to lock and I'm glad because she can't see. She can't see my eyes or it'll all be over.

"Because I felt like it," I snap. She looks taken aback, I can see it in how her shoulders move back in surprise.

"That doesn't make sense," she says. I groan and cross my arms, looking anywhere but her eyes.

"Nothing makes sense."

"Oh really?"

"Yea really?"

"And why is that?"

"Because it just doesn't, damn it! I don't know." I exclaim. She looks even more confused and I have no way of enlightening her without giving it away.

"Why are you pushing everyone away? Why are you pushing me away, I'm your best friend," she says, and my breath hitches. I can hear the concern in her voice and I try not to tell myself that she cares because it's easier to chase off these feelings if she doesn't.

"Let's get back, they'll be worried about us." I say, and brush past her. All I can think is:

_It is impossible, impossibly improbable that Meiko could ever love Gumi. She never has and never will._

TW~KP~TW~KP~TW

"Stop looking at me,"

We're sitting once again at the lunch table, and this time I'm stabbing my carrots. Luka, Len, and now Kaito are staring at me and it's getting annoying.

"Um, you do realize you're stabbing one of your favorite foods, right?" Kaito stated. I looked at him and snorted.

"Sure."

"Gumi, why are you acting so weird?" asked Len. I shrugged, continuing not to eat. The dark circles had gotten worst as I couldn't sleep more and more each night. It was always the same nightmare that kept me up. One that I thought would come true.

"Why are _you_ acting so weird?" I counter. My sensitive ears pick up her voice through all the chaos of the lunchroom and I hear that it's coming closer.

"Damn it," I curse under my breath. As she comes closer, I start to curl in on myself.

"Hey, sexy," she teases in my ear and I flinch. We are best friends so it doesn't surprise me that she does this. It's normal but I still flinch and I feel four pairs of eyes on me. They start talking about something but I can't hear it. It's...getting...kinda hard for me to breathe. She's so close, I can smell her cinnamon perfume and her vanilla shampoo. I push my chair back, and take a gasping breath.

"Mi-Mi? Are you okay," I hear her use my nickname and it knocks whatever breath I have left out. I grab at my shirt, it feels as if it's choking me.

"Gumi?!" Meiko says, worry completely apparent.

I get up and rush out of the cafeteria, tears in my eyes. I can't breathe and I'm just rushing through the halls and I finally stop and punch a locker, crying out at the pain that shoots up my arm. I sink down the locker and sit, not being able to breathe I was crying so hard now, and I couldn't see because the teas were a steady rush.

All the while my brain keeps telling me _it is impossible, impossibly improbable that Meiko could ever love Gumi. She never has and never will._

But here she comes, rushing down the hall, not caring about bumping into anybody and not saying sorry. She appears to be worried but I won't tell myself that. That would mean she cares. I'm outright sobbing now, sobbing like I did the first night the nightmare woke me up. Flashes of her yelling that she will never love me come to my mind and I yell at her as she come near.

"Leave me alone Meiko! I can't!" I say, but she doesn't even hesitate. She puts her back to a locker and pulls my back to her chest. She wraps her arms around my body and I turn so that I can lay my head on her shoulder and cry into the junction of her neck and shoulder. My hand desperately grabs at her shirt, pulling myself closer.

And she just shushes me and rocks me and comforts me so perfectly that, even though I think it's impossible, I sob harder. She just sticks with me, rubbing circles on my lower back and rocking me. Every once in a while she whisper something like, "Shh, it's okay," or "I'm here, don't worry, I'm here," and I'll just nod, grateful for her.

I finally calm down enough to catch my breath and she pulls back just a little, to look at me and I let her. I let her look into my hazel eyes and I give it all up. I let every emotion I've been feeling rise to the surface and she gasps, understanding perfectly from years of practice. Years of looking into my eyes and reading me like a book.

"You love me," she says, and it isn't even a question. I nod anyway, starting to tear up again but she's not having that.

"No, no, shh, don't cry. You're beautiful when you cry but I hate it when you're sad. Don't cry," she says, wiping the traitors from my cheeks. Her hand caresses my cheek and lowers to my chin, gently tilting it upwards. And suddenly her lips are on mine and I can't think; I just feel. I feel my love join with hers and I feel her perfectly soft lips mold with mine. I feel her tongue slide across the seam that is my lips and I grant her entrance. I feel her find all the spots that make whine and I feel that she must return my love because nobody can kiss someone like this and not love them. And as we both pull back, she smiles.

In that moment I realize something. I realize something that I should have known.

_It is incredibly possible, and amazingly probable that Meiko loves Gumi. She always has and always will._


End file.
